like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
