i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
