he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
