Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
