The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
