I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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