Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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