That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize