I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
