I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
