i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
