genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so let's talk penis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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