i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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