the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize