I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
