you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
