dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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