i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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