hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
