I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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