very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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