OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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