Yo dont text me then not text me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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