before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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