My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
