I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Mom said you looked used
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Enjoy the penises
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
