Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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