I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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