Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
