found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
