my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
