OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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