I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
