I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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