i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize