if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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