I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
