i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize