i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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