shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
