I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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