I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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