So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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