apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
