am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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