i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
