Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
