I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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