Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize