Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
