The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
