We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
