Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
