Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
