i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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