The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
