Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
