i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
