i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
