Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
In America we eat man semen.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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